Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Fuck Your Goji Berries Lady!

There is a health food store down the street from me that drives me nuts. First, they charge at least double what is charged in Whole Foods (already an expensive store) and sometimes 3 to 4 times more than Trader Joe’s. However, the thing that really ticks me off is all of the bullshit claims that the store owner and the product packaging make. They sell these “Goji” berries like crack. They are all over the store. From what I have read, they do seem to be a nutritional food, but of course, just because they come from China (if they were in fact grown there), the packaging is filled with additional claims like “helps chi” and all kinds of other shit.
The thing that really irks me about it is that the only reason those claims are made is because the product is allegedly grown in China. Some health food establishments really buy into (and more importantly sell) this notion that just because something is Asian it is “mystical.” Just imagine if the common lemon was only grown in Malaysia, I’m sure all of these stores would be carrying “Malaysian” Lemons and making all kinds of claims about how they “help your chi,” and “help you shit faster.” The woman who owns the store is probably filthy rich but doesn’t consider herself so because she wears faux Indian outfits instead of lipstick and a business suit.
I want to open an electronics store that does the same thing. “This Sony Television is made in the Himalayas by monks, it will increase your chi and allow you to live to 140 years old.”

What ever happened to Grain?


Andrew Gabriel Rose said...

Grain is still there, only now it's "Whole-Grain" and it's 2.5 times more expensive. Ask Jim about his experience in Burman's the other day, it's funny. My reactions to those ridiculous claims have varied over the past few years. When I first encountered that stuff I was unprepared to deal with it. Totally credulous.
Anyway, now I find it all really funny. It's why I enjoyed reading this post of yours so much, pointing out how foolish that shit can be is entertainment in itself.

amber* leigh said...

Uh, dude, we're definitely more mystical than Andrew or Svitlana because our families descend from the South Pacific. I guess we're not as mystical as, like, mainland China or anything, but we've definitely got something.

Gojiberries said...

Realy it distribute good info about Himilayan Goji Juice. Goji Berries improve the skin and make you look younger.

Miss Faerie said...

I first heard about the goji berries from David Wolfe, who also stated never to eat corn or wheat. So grain is cool, I guess, I eat 15 grain bread, when I eat bread. But look how I grew up eating meat and potatoes and Italian food every Wednesday and Sunday, not to mention all at holiday crap. I'm alive and healthy at 61 and my parents and grandparents lived pretty long, well most of them. (And I smoke :: Ahahahahahaaaa.